A hard day

So I just got off the phone with my mom. She has been attempting to have a hysterectomy for a about 2 weeks now but they keep rescheduling due to some complications in her tests. She had to go back today and do a stress test. The test has shown the doctors that she has had a heart attack. My mom tells me this laughing. She says that sometime in the last two years she had a heart attack....so nonchalantly. They need to do some more tests to see what the damage is she said. I felt like I was listening to hear through a cave...very far away and an echo.

That is my mom though. Once when she was have a severe allergic reaction to benadryl...she was having seizures on the bed....we were waiting for the ambulance..in a snow storm I might add! She was shaking all over the bed. Right after she finishes having one she turns to me, I was 15, and says hurry hon! If you get some ice cream and milk I will make you a milkshake with the next seizure!! Oh brother!!

So back to the hear and now..it has got me thinking on how our parents get old way too fast! I mean there is the time when you are little and you look at them and think WOW! They know everything and are going to live forever!! Then as a teenager you look and say Oh they don't understand anything and they are ancient! As an adult you begin to see the wisdom in their words and want to have them around as sounding boards for you.

SO today I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. I know this is a selfish way to look at things but I want her here. I want to see her 90years old, cranky with a walker! LOL. If you are so inclined to do so please pray for my mom. Please pray for me. I am not ready to even think about this world without her.

If you still have your mom around give her a call..tell her you love you, appreciate her, or just call and share a laugh. If you don't have your mom here then take a moment and just reflect on the things she left behind. Lessons taught, sayings that you hear yourself say to your own children, or just sit back and remember. Because life is too short to leave things unsaid or hurt feelings lingering. The past cannot be changed, the future is unsure but you do have this moment. Make the most of it.

Mom, I love you. We have had our ups and downs. Our ins and outs. Just like a carousel.. remember?? You are not the cookie cutter mom but you are the mom that I was blessed with. Thank you for showing me what to do in life, what not to do and letting me make my choices....

Have a blessed night everyone.